lessons in motherhood

IMG_8837I recently penned an article for Chicago Parent Magazine entitled “10 style lessons I learned from motherhood” and I wanted to extend the concept to my blog; but instead of discussing style I wanted to switch it up a little and share my feelings on what motherhood has taught me about life in general.

I always knew that motherhood would change me, it is impossible for an experience that unique and powerful to leave you the same.

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Below are my lessons. I would love for you to share some of yours by commenting below or on your respective blogs.

Let’s do this !

1. Unconditional love is something I’ve known about through God’s grace in my life and I’m learning about its depth every single day through Neriah. Days aren’t without challenges but my love for her never changes and it never will.

2. It’s OK to say no. It is impossible to please everybody and in my opinion it’s OK to be selfish when it comes to your child/family’s needs. Trying to please people who are unable to see your efforts is pointless; don’t beat yourself up over it. Someone will always have an opinion or advice to share. Accept that everyone is entitled to theirs and move on.

3. Patience is indeed a virtue, and a two year old will test it, in fact I’m tested everyday. Patience has never been my strong suit and I’ve been praying for it and God continues to grant it.

4. The Flow… just go with it. I’m a bit of a control freak. I plan, execute and repeat. Parenthood has changed my controlling ways and I find myself to be a lot more lenient when it comes to certain things. Going with the flow has also allowed me to be in the moment and enjoy every single second.

5.Women are magical! Think about it.. We carry humans in our bellies… for 9 months! Need I say more? Didn’t think so.

6.It’s the simple things that matter most. I consider myself to be quite a simple person. I don’t take myself too seriously and am pretty nonchalant about many things. I get excited about everything, and I want my daughter to appreciate the smaller things. She smiles when I give her a spoon to play with. A spoon folks! Enabling her to appreciate the small things will make her appreciate the bigger ones.

7.Laugh often. I love to laugh. I recently came back from a girl’s trip and I now have abs due to excessive laughter. In our house we laugh every single day. My husband is a comedian at heart. Our humor, although juvenile, works because Neriah enjoys it. For instance we like to re-enact a scene from the Lion King movie where my hubby  picks up Neriah and puts her up in the air as I belt out Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba” Being silly is in our DNA!

8. Comparison is the thief of joy. I read that a while ago and I couldn’t agree more. It’s easy to make things “appear” a certain way especially nowadays with social networks. Truth is, most times the ones “on instagram straight flexin” ( shoutout to Trinidad James for the quote) are doing just that… “flexin”. Do what works for you and never, ever compare yourself to others.

9. Faith is something I’ve always had but, when I found out I was expecting for a second time (read about that here) I had to ask for a double portion and I continue to do so. I now know that I’ve been entrusted with the responsibility to be this little girl’s mom and I trust that I have and will be given the tools to see her though all the way.

10. Words are powerful! I’m mindful of what I say around my child and regardless of how I feel, I’ve learned to always use my words to encourage others. The world is cruel enough and I personally don’t think that there is any victory in someone’s ability to have an unfiltered mouth. Your tongue is your most powerful tool and it’s wise to use it to edify as opposed to do the opposite. As a parent I lead by example, being nice is not an option, it is mandatory in our household.

That’s it folks! Hope I didn’t bore you too much. If you choose to share 10 lessons on your blog please tag me, would love to read them.

 

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On a related but unrelated topic, Spanx tweeted me about my “10 style lessons” and  it made my day, because I wear spanx! Yeah I said it!

Spanx

Until next time!

10 Comments

  • Susan

    August 30, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    “Comparison is the thief of joy” is wonderful. I have to put it on my wall. I have stopped comparing my hair styling skills to other mama’s. I will never be able to do those intricate cornrows. Her plain braids will have to do.

    My best lesson is be who you are and let your child be who she is. My daughter is a tomboy and I found myself trying to get her to be more girly (even though I am a tomboy too). She is rough, loud, energetic and not into dolls or cooking but she is just the way she was supposed to be. I have learned to relax. I am not a bad mother.

    Reply
    • Charlotte

      August 30, 2014 at 11:42 pm

      Hey Susan, as moms it’s very easy to get caught up and start comparing ourselves to others. I stopped doing that long ago. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your lesson. As parents it is our duty to give our children the freedom of expression so long as they do it in a respective matter.
      P.S. I can’t cornrow to save my life, and I’ve come to terms with that! My little girl will have to walk around with Afro puffs and headbands… And I’m ok with that ;)

      Reply
    • Charlotte

      August 26, 2014 at 9:40 am

      Lorieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my boo! I’ve missed you! Yes the tongue has the power of life and death and if people only knew to be a little more careful when they speak the world would be a better place! Hope you’re all moved in and settled sweet Lorie! xoxo

      Reply
  • Adanna

    August 21, 2014 at 12:26 am

    Wonderful lessons and I can totally relate. Parenting definitely comes with it’s challenges and as I always say it real physical work. I would love to see your family reenacting Lion King. I imagine N singing “I just can’t wait to be king” lol oh that IG note, girl that’s why I rarely log on. Although, I love blogging all of these social networks can be overwhelming for me.

    Reply
    • Charlotte

      August 21, 2014 at 8:55 am

      Hey Adanna you are absolutely right, parenting is real physical work! Social networks are full of farces (IG specifically) – As much as I like it I recently decided to follow inspiring accounts. I also log out of IG once I’ve posted and double tapped a couple of pics. These social networks get distracting after a while!
      Thanks for always showing love! I appreciate it!
      xo

      Reply
  • Elizabeth

    August 20, 2014 at 11:50 am

    I love #8 and #10 the best. #8 for me to think about for myself, and #10 as I raise my girls. They will do what they see us do, so we had better be good examples!! Love to you, dear Charlotte.

    Reply
    • Charlotte

      August 20, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      Beth, thank you for taking the time to read and comment and for being a great example of what an awesome mom should be. If you only knew how much of an example you’ve been to me, you’d be surprised! The time I spent with you has helped develop some of the mothering skills I apply daily, particularly your sense of humour ;) Thank you! Love to you and the girls!
      xo

      Reply

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