At the beginning of the year I penned an article entitled “hey baby” which to date is one of the most viewed/read post the year!
The article consisted of a few things I thought shouldn’t be said to an expecting woman. It was all in good fun and I’m glad that the majority of you had a good laugh. I especially enjoyed reading the comments and seeing that many agreed with the points that were outlined. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, I will place a link to the post at the end of this entry.
As my husband and I get ready to welcome our latest addition, and Neriah’s BFF to-be, I wanted to re-visit my “hey baby” article and compose a sequel to the original post.
This post will cover a few things you probably shouldn’t do/say to a new mom after she just had a baby. Again this is all in good fun and if you have any experiences you’d like to share or anything you’d like to add to my 10 points, please feel free to do so by dropping a line in the comment section below!
Here we go.
1) do not show up unexpected
unless you’re Jesus! Jesus is The Only One that I expect to show up unexpectedly (see Matthew 24:36).
No one likes an unannounced guest under normal circumstances, so you can only imagine how parents to a newborn must feel when someone shows up without calling first. They’re most likely tired from lack of sleep and in desperate need of a nap or trying to rock their baby to sleep when you suddenly knock! Call, tweet, text snap, do whatever you have to do to make sure that you communicate with them before visiting the new baby. They’ll be more welcoming.
2) do not share pictures of the child that were sent to you on social networks
I like sharing pictures on IG, if you follow me (@milknhonee) you will see that the majority of my feed consists of Neriah –
Neriah also happens to be my child, and @milknhonee my feed, which means that as her mom it’s my right to do so, unless of course I give you the permission to do so by using a specific hashtag or whatever the case may be. However, if parents have yet to share any pictures of their newborn on any of their respective social handles, take it as a clue not to be the first one to share it on yours. They sent you the picture because you are special, and they like you. Yes, we know, you’re excited, so are we, but ummm calm down and let them give you the green light to share if they feel inclined to do so mmmmmkay?!
3) let the parents be the first to publicly announce the arrival of their child
most moms will wait a few days to announce the arrival of their new bundle of joy because they’re probably tired from labor and also too busy staring at their new baby!My husband and I sent a text to our family members and very close friends when Neriah was born with the details of her birth. We didn’t have to tell them not to announce it because they knew we hadn’t shared it publicly just yet. Let them announce it first.
4) when you come visit, bring something (preferably food)
my mom always taught me to never go to someone’s house empty handed. Now I’m not talking about each time you go to your friend’s or auntie’s house to bring a gift. Nope! I sure don’t! But I’m referring to special occasions, housewarming, or in this case the birth of a new child. Always bring something, unless you were at the baby shower hahahah! Even if it’s wipes or a jug of purified baby water. It’s the gesture that counts. If you’re coming to visit me, bring me food hahahh! I’m kidding! Not really! Bring me food. I’m always hungry.
5) wash your hands before touching the newborn
germs are everywhere, and newborns are sensitive to them. When Neriah was born I was THAT mom! You know the one that will have you take your shoes off before coming into my home and pump a fist full of Purell into the palm of your hand before handing you my child. I’m still that mom… well not to that extreme, because you become a little more lenient with your second child. I will still tell you to remove your shoes before coming into our home, just have the courtesy of washing your hands before touching a newborn. Hurray for clean hands! No one likes dirty hands, no one!
6) “when will you hit the gym” ( a week after baby)
if you value your life, or whatever relationship you have with that person, never ever ask that question, especially if you are unaware of the details surrounding the delivery. For instance if the mom had a C-section ( recovery usually ranges from 4-6 weeks) and remember, she’s been carrying a human for 9 months. give it time ladies, give it time.
7) ” why are you still wearing maternity pants”
see question number 6, the answer is the same.
8) “ugh! what kind of name is that? “
* shamefully raises hands * I’ve made that comment in my younger unsaved days and truth is I do raise my eyebrow and question the sanity of some of these celebrities and the names they choose for their children. I’m then quickly brought back to reality and reminded that I did not carry their babies, so can’t criticize their choice. There may be a deeply rooted meaning for the name mom/parents choose for their child and your opinion is not welcomed unless it’s asked.
9) “why aren’t you breastfeeding isn’t it better for you and the baby?”
says the person with no child(ren) – I breastfed Neriah for about 3 months and stopped because I wasn’t producing enough milk. Whether the mom chooses to breastfeed or not, respect her choice and move on.
10) Keep your advice to yourself… no one asked ( hahah)
You should do this… or why aren’t you doing this, or I heard that… Motherhood can be overwhelming, and is really self taught; meaning, we will make mistakes, but we will learn along the way what works for us. Every child is different, every mom is different. Let us learn at our own pace. Now if they ask you then all bets are off, but if they don’t, don’t suggest.
Let me be the first to say that I was pretty clueless about some of the above mentioned points before having children, some things we just don’t get until we become parents ourselves! Again this was all in good fun and my sense of humor is best served with a side of sarcasm, so please take it for what it’s worth!
Please feel free to share some of your “no no’s” in the comment section below, and if you are expecting or bringing baby home soon, share this article with some of your homies that could use a good chuckle!
Read part one of “hey baby” here!
Until next time!